We all have embarrassing moments, but some are worse than others. This one is definitely ranked in the “worse” category for me, especially since it could have been prevented. During my high school and college years, I taught piano lessons on and off to pay the bills (and of course because it sure beat flipping burgers or answering phones). One thing that I always taught my students was this: when it comes to performances, ideally you play from memory. In rare cases, you may use your music – but NEVER try to do both! I emphasized this on many occasions and warned them if they broke this cardinal rule, their performance was doomed to nothing short of musical disaster. “You’ll lose your place and have to make lots of starts and stops,” I’d say to them. “So DON’T DO IT!”

Anyway, a while back at the end of one of my students’ recitals, I was the last to play on the program. You know, I wanted to set a good example for my students and show them that their teacher was willing to perform as well. At the last minute, I grabbed my music. Even though I’d memorized my piece, nerves got the better of me and I thought to myself, “I’ll just put the music in front of me, just in case.” I’m sure you can guess the rest of the story. During the first fifteen measures I looked up at the music and the rest is humiliating history. It was hands down THE worst performance I have ever had and you can guess how completely moronic I felt having strictly forbidden my students not to do this and then I went and did it myself. Needless to say, I suffered the consequences of my hypocrisy and learned a valuable lesson. Walk my talk.

How often do we rattle off words of wisdom to our children, our spouse, our in-laws, and co-workers, but then proceed to behave in a way exactly opposite of what we said? For example, a parent telling their kid to stop yelling all the while they are screaming at their kid. A spouse telling the other to listen, but refuses to give a listening ear. A co-worker blaming his colleague for a project gone awry when he, too, dropped the ball. I’m afraid such things happen more often than any of us would like to admit.

Why do we do this? Sometimes I think it’s because we think we’re the exception to the rule. “This may hurt other people, but it won’t affect me,” we say trying to justify ourselves. Ever heard that one before? Or “I can do it, just this once.” Yeah. I’m sure that one sounds familiar. Or “No one will find out.” Yikes! When we say that, we’re just waiting for trouble to come bite is on our sorry behind.

The other reason for failing to walk our talk is that it’s difficult to take responsibility for ourselves. In our heart of hearts, we all know what is right and wrong. But more often than not, making the right choice isn’t easy and in the heat of the moment it takes integrity and courage to do what we say. In the case of the piano recital, I chose to stray from my own better judgment because of fear – fear of failure. Whatever the reason for choosing to live a duplicitous life, it’s not worth the consequences that will surely follow if you choose to betray your conscience. Doing so is a recipe for personal disaster. In the end, the only way to be truly successful is to put our money where our mouth is in every situation.

My call to you? Walk your talk. It makes the journey a lot smoother.