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Do you know anyone who is a champion blamer? You know who I’m talking about – the perpetual victim that has the uncanny ability to tag everyone else for all the misfortune and unhappiness in their lives; everyone except themselves, of course. Chances are you’ve known or currently know someone that fits that description. It could be that that person is the guy or gal you see in the mirror everyday.

Shirking responsibility and blaming others has become all too common in our culture. In fact, when things go pear shaped, a triangle of “finger pointing” is almost as likely as a Budweiser commercial during the Super Bowl. Generally, we blame others in an effort to avoid undesirable consequences. Ironically, when we duck responsibility, it has just the opposite effect – its fruits typically being lost trust, diminished opportunities, and ultimately sour relationships in the home and work place. However, what many fail to realize is that while being accountable for our actions may at times be difficult, doing so can change our lives for the better in a powerful way.

So what does alchemy have to do with accountability? First, let’s start off by defining the word. Alchemy: a seemingly magical power or process of transmuting or changing a simple substance into something of great value such as turning lead into gold. Likewise, the principle of accountability is a rather simple idea that requires little more than owning our choices, their related consequences and being proactive in rectifying any problems that may have arisen from those choices. However simple the principle of accountability, it is clear that acting on this basic tenet at work and at home positively alters the outcome of every situation and produces “golden” dividends of increased trust and respect among our family and associates, strengthened personal character, and a swell of opportunity personally and professionally.

Accountability lifts us from the victim abyss of skewed paradigms and self imposed limitations and changes our environment – landing us on the sunny hill of freedom, insight, and opportunity; a place where we can achieve and accomplish without limitation.

My challenge to you? Stop playing the blame game. You and you alone are ultimately responsible for the circumstances surrounding you in your life. If you are unhappy with them, I dare you to unleash the power of accountability and watch a magical change in your life unfold.

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I admit it! I used to be one of those crazed Edward Cullen fans who, when reading the book Twilight for the first time, actually dreamed of the fictional character on more than one occasion – and I am a happily married woman! For those of you gagging, good news. I am well over it. However, in addition to being a ridiculously addictive romance novel, the Twilight story actually teaches a critical lesson about working through and overcoming personal weakness.

There seems to have been a turn of events in the last century that has caused an unusual paradigm shift in the expectations we have for ourselves and others. I think it is fair to say that there was once a time when society encouraged individuals to be the best they could be. Having integrity, working hard, and displaying selflessness were admirable qualities and striving for such was generally expected and celebrated. However, it seems now that rather than striving for our best, we are simply contenting ourselves in “natural” and flawed character, regardless of the fact that what we naturally are may be to our personal detriment or even harmful to society. In short, we have strayed from the “be all that you can be” mentality and replaced it with “just be yourself.” I’m not suggesting that being yourself is bad. What I am suggesting is that rather than striving to become better and working through personal weaknesses, we are embracing our shortcomings – a choice that only leads to personal and professional mediocrity at best and hinders us from experiencing true joy and success in our lives.

So what does this have to do with Twilight? Those of you who have read the book know that Edward, along with his other vampire family members, choose to become “vegi vampires” having learned to control their appetite for human blood and subsisting only on the blood of animals. When Bella comes along with her potent, drug-like blood, though Edward struggles inside of himself with the overwhelming desire to kill and feast on her, he learns to control his strong urges and soon finds the love of his life in Bella. By sheer will he was able to make something that was once a weakness to him, a strength.

While this story may be fictional, the principle is universally true. We all have weaknesses and urges that we may be genetically pre-disposed to or have adopted over time. The truth is we are not doing ourselves or those we love any favors when we simply choose to give into those weaknesses. Unlike animals, we have the willpower and ability to make a choice; the choice to change and to become our best selves. Regardless of what you may have been told, weaknesses do not have to be a permanent part of your character. You CAN change if you so wish.

I challenge you to make your weak things strong. A simple desire to change will suffice. Then make a plan, take daily action on that plan, and realize your ability to become all that you were meant to be.

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Who wants to be a millionaire? Well, let’s say I offer you just that – 1 million dollars to cross a plank that is connecting two buildings. They are several hundred feet high and about 30 feet apart. And just to let you know, this tends to be a very windy area and the board you’ll be crossing is about 5, maybe 6 inches wide and a couple of inches thick. Alright, any takers? What – not a one? C’mon, it’s a million smackers! You, all your children, and their pets could live on the interest of a million bucks. Well, maybe not quite, but that’s a load of money. Okay, let’s change this up a bit. Let’s say then that on the other side of that board is your family and unless you make it across to the other side, they’ll die. You and you alone can save them. Have you changed your mind?

Alright, I don’t really have a million dollars – obviously. But like you, when I read this example as told in the book titled The Power of Story, I was amazed at my change in paradigm. First, I wouldn’t have dreamed of crossing that board. A million dollars wasn’t worth it to me. I found, however, that the idea of saving my family was incredibly motivating. I’d have done it – or at least die trying – and I’d imagine most of us would.

The point is that when we have purpose, it can be powerful – even to the point of helping us make incredible changes in our lives. Consider this as a prime example. Most people know smoking is bad for them and yet that isn’t enough motivation for them to change their behavior. However, I’ve known women who when they discover they are pregnant – women who’ve tried to break the habit before – are able to quit smoking cold turkey. Wow! What made the difference? They had a clear and motivating purpose.

We all have bad habits and things that we need to change. If you’re having trouble finding motivation to make a change and stick with it, do some soul searching and find the purpose behind the change. It has to be something you love deeply to have the kind of power to move you, but once you find it, you’ll likely be astonished at how quickly you’re able to do what needs to be done. Like your favorite super hero, you’ll be super powered by purpose to do great things. Go forth and conquer!