Change is hard! Change means doing things differently than we’ve ever done them before – and that might mean trying to climb out of the  muddy habit hole  that we’ve been sittin’ in for years.  Change means throwing off your groove for while, getting out of that comfort zone and even wading through some thick stress and fear. While we’d like to lose that 10 lbs, improve that relationship, and maintain that budget – it is often the fear of the work and sweat that accompanies change that holds us back. And yet, as James Allen put it, “Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.”  Unless we are willing to put forth the steady effort that positive change requires, we remain bound and that looks like something different for all of us. We might be  bound by our addiction to alcohol or pornography, bound by our dishonesty, bound by our laziness, bound by our negative mental attitude. Each of these points diminish our opportunities, relationships, success, and ultimately the joy factor in our lives.

While change may be difficult, it is truly the key to goal achievement and a happy, successful life. We only have one life to live. Don’t be afraid of change. Embrace it and go to work on your life!

]]> http://www.myjoyquest.com/embracing-change-the-key-to-your-success/feed/ 0 http://www.myjoyquest.com/the-power-of-a-positive-paradigm/ http://www.myjoyquest.com/the-power-of-a-positive-paradigm/#comments Wed, 29 Apr 2009 22:36:54 +0000 myjoyquest http://www.myjoyquest.com/?p=606 Story goes that not so long ago a group of researchers came together to study how kids respond to odd situations. The first study subject was a little boy about the age of seven. He went into the large, empty room and in the middle of the floor was a pile of fresh horse manure. With a disgusted face, he grabbed the pointer from the chalkboard and started poking at the droppings. “Peeeee-uuuw!” he exclaimed standing up and running around the room. “What are you trying to do to me, sticking me in this place with a stinky pile of horse doody? Get me out of here!” Soon after, a little girl also about seven years of age was brought in. When she saw the pile of manure, she smiled widely and with a running start dove into the mess headfirst. “Yippee!” she said covered in filth. “Whoo-hoo…this is so awesome!” Fascinated with her reaction, the scientists ran in the room and asked, “Why are you so happy?” Her answer: “Well, with all this horse poop, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!”

While I can’t say I’d ever be thrilled about being stuck in a room full of horse chips, this story can teach us a great deal about the power of a positive paradigm. Life is full of “poopy” circumstances and obstacles that may, at times, seem unfair and far from ideal. Those challenges may look like the loss of a job, poor health and array of other things. But like the little girl, having a positive paradigm about our situation can make all the difference. Recognize that while things may look grim, there is always a silver lining to our situation if we allow ourselves to be tutored by every life experience – good or bad. It takes conscious effort to learn from the rocky parts of our journey. Yet, it isn’t the hand we’re dealt that will make life joyful and successful; it is how we respond to the cards we’re given. The willpower to choose how we react to our circumstances is the greatest gift given to mankind.

My challenge to you is to look for  the “pony” in your days and you will be empowered to rise above adversity and success and joy will naturally follow.

]]> http://www.myjoyquest.com/the-power-of-a-positive-paradigm/feed/ 0 http://www.myjoyquest.com/twilight-a-life-lesson-about-personal-weakness/ http://www.myjoyquest.com/twilight-a-life-lesson-about-personal-weakness/#comments Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:33:46 +0000 myjoyquest http://myjoyquest.com/?p=260

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I admit it! I used to be one of those crazed Edward Cullen fans who, when reading the book Twilight for the first time, actually dreamed of the fictional character on more than one occasion – and I am a happily married woman! For those of you gagging, good news. I am well over it. However, in addition to being a ridiculously addictive romance novel, the Twilight story actually teaches a critical lesson about working through and overcoming personal weakness.

There seems to have been a turn of events in the last century that has caused an unusual paradigm shift in the expectations we have for ourselves and others. I think it is fair to say that there was once a time when society encouraged individuals to be the best they could be. Having integrity, working hard, and displaying selflessness were admirable qualities and striving for such was generally expected and celebrated. However, it seems now that rather than striving for our best, we are simply contenting ourselves in “natural” and flawed character, regardless of the fact that what we naturally are may be to our personal detriment or even harmful to society. In short, we have strayed from the “be all that you can be” mentality and replaced it with “just be yourself.” I’m not suggesting that being yourself is bad. What I am suggesting is that rather than striving to become better and working through personal weaknesses, we are embracing our shortcomings – a choice that only leads to personal and professional mediocrity at best and hinders us from experiencing true joy and success in our lives.

So what does this have to do with Twilight? Those of you who have read the book know that Edward, along with his other vampire family members, choose to become “vegi vampires” having learned to control their appetite for human blood and subsisting only on the blood of animals. When Bella comes along with her potent, drug-like blood, though Edward struggles inside of himself with the overwhelming desire to kill and feast on her, he learns to control his strong urges and soon finds the love of his life in Bella. By sheer will he was able to make something that was once a weakness to him, a strength.

While this story may be fictional, the principle is universally true. We all have weaknesses and urges that we may be genetically pre-disposed to or have adopted over time. The truth is we are not doing ourselves or those we love any favors when we simply choose to give into those weaknesses. Unlike animals, we have the willpower and ability to make a choice; the choice to change and to become our best selves. Regardless of what you may have been told, weaknesses do not have to be a permanent part of your character. You CAN change if you so wish.

I challenge you to make your weak things strong. A simple desire to change will suffice. Then make a plan, take daily action on that plan, and realize your ability to become all that you were meant to be.

“How are things going for you?” asked her professor.
“Oh, I’m actually struggling quite a bit. Just keeping my head above water,” my mom replied.
“Don’t!” he said suddenly.
“Don’t?” my mom repeated confused.
Without hesitation, Professor Hawkins said, “Grow gills!”

I’m not exactly sure what followed after that, but both my mom and I found this idea of growing gills inspiring. So often we’re swimming through life and feeling as though we’re barely staying afloat, or worse, nearly drowning. If that’s the case, adapt. Have the faith and the fortitude to examine your life and make some needed changes. I’m not suggesting that life is always easy. Sometimes it may be all we can do to just hold our breath and wait for the storm to pass. But, in many instances, I believe a little personal tweaking here and there can greatly reduce the level of anxiety and stress in our lives so that rather than barely staying afloat, we get our metaphorical oxygen from the water and are literally sustained by our ability to constantly adapt.

Growing gills will mean something different for each us. Maybe you need to work less and spend more time with your family to improve withering relationships; eat a healthier diet and exercise regularly so you have more energy to fulfill your responsibilities; forgive someone who’s offended you or make that phone call you’ve been meaning to for years; seek to be more positive and to suffocate old pessimistic views; align your life with principles of honesty and hard work and not expect others to pick up your slack.

Certainly, adapting isn’t painless, but you will quickly begin to see the fruits of your efforts as you attempt to grow gills. Good luck my fish friends.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/theohiosource/2953954613/

Who wants to be a millionaire? Well, let’s say I offer you just that – 1 million dollars to cross a plank that is connecting two buildings. They are several hundred feet high and about 30 feet apart. And just to let you know, this tends to be a very windy area and the board you’ll be crossing is about 5, maybe 6 inches wide and a couple of inches thick. Alright, any takers? What – not a one? C’mon, it’s a million smackers! You, all your children, and their pets could live on the interest of a million bucks. Well, maybe not quite, but that’s a load of money. Okay, let’s change this up a bit. Let’s say then that on the other side of that board is your family and unless you make it across to the other side, they’ll die. You and you alone can save them. Have you changed your mind?

Alright, I don’t really have a million dollars – obviously. But like you, when I read this example as told in the book titled The Power of Story, I was amazed at my change in paradigm. First, I wouldn’t have dreamed of crossing that board. A million dollars wasn’t worth it to me. I found, however, that the idea of saving my family was incredibly motivating. I’d have done it – or at least die trying – and I’d imagine most of us would.

The point is that when we have purpose, it can be powerful – even to the point of helping us make incredible changes in our lives. Consider this as a prime example. Most people know smoking is bad for them and yet that isn’t enough motivation for them to change their behavior. However, I’ve known women who when they discover they are pregnant – women who’ve tried to break the habit before – are able to quit smoking cold turkey. Wow! What made the difference? They had a clear and motivating purpose.

We all have bad habits and things that we need to change. If you’re having trouble finding motivation to make a change and stick with it, do some soul searching and find the purpose behind the change. It has to be something you love deeply to have the kind of power to move you, but once you find it, you’ll likely be astonished at how quickly you’re able to do what needs to be done. Like your favorite super hero, you’ll be super powered by purpose to do great things. Go forth and conquer!