We have all seen those cartoons where an unsuspecting man and woman are walking along, minding their own business, when suddenly an air born Cupid does a quick fly by and shoots both of the poor saps with drugged arrows. With one glance, the pair is forever more hopelessly and slobberingly smitten with one another. Sigh. Truth is, happily ever afters are not the result of chubby cherubim sticking folks with sharp flying objects. It is also possible that there are some of you reading this who think that true love is little more than fiction. With the staggering divorce rate, it is understood why you may feel that way. However, in observing many happy marriages, I have determined that while lasting and happy relationships may not be easy to maintain, it is in fact possible to make your happily ever after a reality if you are willing to pay the price. The price is applying and sticking to the 4 C’s: Commitment, Communication, Compromise, and Charity.

Commitment: If you want to have something for a long time you treat it differently, right? Consider the difference between how you treat a cheap plastic plate versus your finest piece of china. You will handle your china with care because it is valuable and you want to have it for many years to come. Similarly, marriage is no trite thing. When two people take the plunge, both parties should be in it for the long haul. With that “till death do us part, in sickness and in health” mentality, you will find yourself treating your partner with greater respect and care than you otherwise would if you just thought the relationship was going to be short term or heaven forbid a “starter” marriage. (I find the very term offensive.)

The single strongest factor in keeping any relationship together is commitment. Regardless of who you are, you will face challenges in your relationship. Those obstacles may be self inflicted or may stem from outside sources. Whatever the challenges, understanding that they will come and believing that it is possible to weather the storm with your relationship intact is vital. Certainly to do so takes work, but again, it is NOT impossible. I have seen evidence of this countless times.

Recognize also that just because you do not get the same full body tingles you used to when you first kissed does not mean you are “falling out of love.” It is called being normal. It is just like when you ride the roller coaster for the fifth time. You cannot get the same buzz you got the first time around because eventually your body adapts to that experience. This is the case with anything from eating decadent cheese cake to your sex life. There are certainly ways to keep the flame ignited in your physical relationship, but know that some of that initial novelty will wear off in every case (and that includes if you were to marry Brad Pitt or Cameron Diaz). Remember that a happy, healthy relationship is about physical AND mental, emotional, and spiritual intimacy.

When all is said and done, commitment is the glue that will hold a relationship together.